Fix The Stories You Tell Yourself

The negative stories are infiltrating your emotions and undercutting your attitude. The stories are "going to work" on you over time.

If you have a story about how you are "the only one who gets it", don't be surprised if every problem or setback seems to support the story. Every setback will make you angry and frustrated and closer to giving up at how incompetent the team is and how far we are from "the goal".

Our brains are really good at picking a story and seeking out any kind of supporting evidence and filtering out the things that might challenge your story.

Just look at your own behavior on social media. Social media is our confirmation bias in a place that it thrives for lack of predators. And the analogy is complete: our confirmation bias, when uncontrolled, just consumes and poops all over the place, much like the Canada Goose.

How about a different story?

You are a busy and productive worker. So are your teammates. And while we are busy, our marvelous brains are shortcutting things for us to "remove the cruft". This is why we are fast.

Now... assume you have noticed that there might be a different way to do some XXX better. You could ask why we aren't doing it and why we always seem to choose inferior ways to do it. But that's your old story talking... which doesn't put you in good state to influence people to adopt a new way. The old story might even allow your emotions to overpower you.

Old stories can be replaced.

Here's an alternate: If you have recognized an opportunity to do some XXX differently, you can be a contribution to the team by bringing it up.

I don't know how it strikes you, but to me it changes the entire tone to one of opportunity and apprecation: This is how we get to make a difference with one another.

Here is my favorite story: We have this capacity to act as tiny little nudges for each other toward order from chaos... from ugly to beauty... from the worst within us to the best within us. And we are better together.